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The Dealmaker

Spamton x Swatch - 16k Words - 6/? Chapters - November 2021-January 2022
Status - Discontinued
Last Updated - January 12th 2022


Spamton wakes up and realizes that a part of his memories are missing and he did something really bad that he can't quite recall. However, he's now living in Castle Town and ready to embrace a fresh start when he meets a familiar face.

Spamton G. Spamton/Swatch, Other characters are mentioned but not worth getting tagged, Spamton has abandonment issues and a fat crush on Swatch, Swatch finds Spamton in the trash and takes him home is a good trope and I want in, Post NEO fight, tags will be added as i continue, Spamton can fit so much trauma in him, Anxiety Attacks, PTSD I guess??, Nudity, But like in a ball joint doll sort of way, Touch-Starved

The Dealmaker

Chapter 3

The puppet had finished getting undressed, leaving his clothes by the door like he had been instructed. His old torn black suit, shirt and muddy grey pants that had once been as white as his skin simply laid there, looking as dejected as the puppet himself.

Spamton quickly wrapped himself in a towel as he glanced at the articles of clothing, unsure if Swatch's offer to wash them would be enough to salvage them from the years of dirt and neglect. It was once his favourite suit after all. As well as the one he was wearing the day he was kicked out of the mansion.

Sighing, Spamton faced the tub once again as he made his way to it. He climbed on the bench that Swatch had provided and stared distantly at the water, his breathing growing heavier as the static on his mind was returning and his blurry vision made him start to imagine things that weren't there.

This was fine. It was just water, it wasn't acid, it wasn't going to hurt him. For a moment, Spamton regretted brushing Swatch off, maybe their help would be nice, or maybe even just the emotional support and their soft wing patting his head. But he did feel increasingly vulnerable and embarrassed after that whole episode and tried not to think of it.

Realizing he was shaking, either from cold or from fear, he took a deep breath and placed the tip of his foot on the water. The temperature, although comforting, still unnerved him and he closed his eyes tightly. It was just water. Just water. Just wate—

"Spamton? Are you alright in there?" The puppet suddenly yelped as he heard Swatch slightly open the door. Startled, he lost his balance, falling into the bathtub and causing a big splash.

"?!" Upon hearing this, Swatch panicked, rushing into the bathroom and towards the tub "S-SPAMTON?!"

They didn't see the puppet at first, until he suddenly popped his head out of the water, gasping for air and frantically rushing to the edge to try and climb out. "N0!! H-H3LP ME!! I-IT BURN5!" He cried out and Swatch quickly grabbed the towel that Spamton had dropped, grabbing him as he fell off the tub and wrapping him on it as the puppet panted heavily, shaking in fear.

"It's okay! It's okay, you're safe…! Shh... You're safe…" Swatch spoke as they hugged him close to their chest, hearing whimpering from the puppet who curled in his body as well, burying himself in the towel as he broke into sobs.

"I CAN'T DO IT! I CAN'T DO IT! I CAN'T DO IT!" Spamton repeated over and over, shaking his head as tears were running down his cheeks.

"Shh… You're safe… Nothing is going to harm you…" Swatch repeated, their hand petting the Addison's hair, which got an odd sticky texture after getting wet, but Swatch didn't care for this, only wishing to comfort him.

"I'M [[Dying]]! I'M [[dYING]] aND [[BuRN1NG]] !! I'M [[Ow! It hurt5! Stop! HeLP!]]" He continued sobbing, patting his own face in anxiety, the pain in his voice was getting Swatch to tear up themselves and they held him closer to their body.

"Shhh, Spamton… I'm here… Y-You're safe… You're not burning… See…?" They reached for the Addison's small segmented hand, which dwarfed against their own as they both stared at it "It's still the same size…"

"...I-I D-D0N'T W?NT TO [[Die]]... I DON'T WANT TO… I don't ...” He cried as his voice grew quieter and he tried his hardest to focus his thoughts on Swatch's voice and ground himself.

"Listen to me, Spamton… You're not dying… You're alive, you're here… You're not alone…"

Spamton sniffed, still shaking, he curled his trembling hand into a fist as Swatch held it in response. As he got quieter, Swatch could still feel him trembling in the towel, a strange noise of rattling puppet joints that the bird did not expect to come out of the small Addison's body.

"H-How pathetic of a slime am I th-that I can't even do something as simple as taking a bath…? " Spamton murmured and Swatch couldn't help but feel unsettled every time the puppet became strangely lucid. Was it when he whispered?

"This is my fault. I'm sorry for startling you, Spamton… I did not intend for an accident to happen…" Swatch spoke "Perhaps we can find another way…? It is not ideal but there is always the kitchen sink…"

Instead, they felt Spamton looking back up at them, his sad beady eyes were still filled with tears but he shook his head in response.

"Y-YOU ALR3ADY W?NT THROUGH ALL THIS W0RK OF SETTING UP AN [[Exclusive Bubble Bath]] ! I… I H4VE TO [[Try It Now For Free!]] !!”

"Y-You still want to go in…?!" Swatch appeared shocked, noticing the puppet hesitate for a moment before nodding "Spamton, y-you don't have to do that, especially when it is triggering you in such a way…"

"PLE4SE ! PLeASE [[Stay with Me]]...!" Swatch felt Spamton's hand trembling in their grasp.

"A-Are you certain?" Swatch worriedly asked, holding his small fist firmly to stabilize it as the puppet nodded in response. They did offer to assist him in the first place before Spamton had requested privacy, but now that he was on their lap, curled up in a thick fluffy and now stained white towel like some sort of Darkner burrito, it felt like that line had been crossed long ago.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO [Clean] Me, J-JUST… DON'T LET ME [[Drown my sorrows away!]]" The Addison was still trembling as he spoke and Swatch nodded, looking at him in pity, which caused Spamton's expression to drop "I'M NOT A [[Stupid Slime]] ! I KN0W IT'S [[WATER]], I J-JU5T [Don't know what came over me]] ! I DON'T MEAN TO [[Flip my lid]] !"

"Spamton, I did not say you were stupid! Wh-What happened to you in the past was…" They seemed to get choked up, clearing their throat before they shook their head and stood up, still holding him "It was unjust and should have never EVER happened!"

He looked down sadly and nodded, sticking his arms out of his towel nest, small feet dangling on the other side as Swatch had wrapped him quite tightly.

" I'm sorry for making such a mess… I K-KNOW YOU [Birds] LIKE TO KEEP EVERYTHING [[Kills 99.9% of all germs]] ALL THE TIME." Spamton spoke as Swatch placed him on the bench, standing behind him.

"Yes, but that is because we do enjoy cleaning…" Swatch offered a patient smile, trying to get Spamton's mind off of things "Us Swatchlights are quite anxious monsters. It helps soothe our nerves when we focus on our chores. Do you want to try the tub one more time? I will not leave your side."

"BUT… Y-YOU'RE THE SMOOTHEST [[Talking Bird]] I KNOW…" Spamton turned his head back at them with a concerned look, causing Swatch to flush, their feathers puffing up ever so slightly as they quickly smoothed them with their wing.

"Working for the Queen is… A handful. I'm sure you know this…" Swatch spoke, helping unwrap Spamton from the towel, causing the puppet to yelp as he felt his body exposed once more.

"W-WA-WA1T, LOOK AWAY !!" Spamton flushed, grasping at the towel to cover himself "THIS IS [[An outrageous sight]] !"

"I promise I am not looking, Spamton." They had turned their beak to the side "It is the least I can do… Are you able to get inside the tub? If you cannot, or wish to back out, that is fine..."

Spamton simply shook his head and let go of the towel, which was held up like a barrier between him and Swatch. And as he felt his breathing growing heavy and his joints rattling again, he took a deep breath, then another, then another. But this time, he sat on the bench, the water still felt hot from there and he felt his eyes wanting to tear up again. It's just water. It's just water. It's just water.

As Swatch heard the sound of Spamton getting into the tub, they took it as their cue to lower the towel, checking in on the Addison.

Spamton had gotten in the water, clinging to the edge of the tub as he trembled, breathing heavily through his teeth as if bracing himself for a burning feeling of pain that would never come. He wanted to scream again, he wanted to jump out, but as he felt a soft wing caressing his face, he gasped, looking back at Swatch who was giving him a worried but reassuring smile.

"See? You're safe…" They spoke, their expression growing concerned as Spamton just leaned against their touch, sniffling and closing his eyes. He wanted to stay like that forever, and for a moment, Swatch too had lost themselves in the moment, blushing as they wiped the tears off the Addison's face "What happened to you, Spamton…? " They asked almost as if to themselves.

As they tried to pull their hand away, they felt the puppet's smaller hand reflexively try to keep it in place, but as Spamton came to his senses, he realized what he was doing and flushed red, releasing the butler's hand as he turned around and faced away. "S-S0RRy!" Maybe drowning wouldn't be such a bad idea after all!

He took another set of deep breaths, realizing he was very awkwardly holding his arms above the water. Closing his eyes, he submerged them, and then the rest of his body up to his neck, feeling his heart just wanting to beat out of his chest.

"Are you doing alright…?" Swatch carefully asked and Spamton quietly nodded, though he was still visibly trembling. “You can reach the shampoo and all the other products, right? You will need them to properly clean yourself.”

“T-THANK YOU…” He managed to speak, glancing at a small cabinet next to the tub where various bathing products were on display. Iridescent feather shampoo, beak glistener, talon polish and other products of similar avian caliber, as well as… normal bathing products, which they also had for some reason. But instead, Spamton's attention was captured by a small black and blue object hidden behind the bottles.

“Do not take this the wrong way, but I can help you clean up. Or tend to your hair at the very least…” Swatch trailed off, suddenly jumping startled by a squeaky toy sound. They gazed back at Spamton who was looking terrified at them, in his hands was a rubber duck, decorated to look like a blue Swatchling, which he immediately hid behind his back.

“. . .” The two stared at each other in silence and Swatch was at a loss for words, the sound catching them off-guard. They slowly opened their beak as they tried to think of a way to explain why they owned such a bizarre child’s toy.

“It…” Swatch nervously began, realizing that Spamton was staring at them in the exact same caught-in-the-act pose and frozen expression as before “It… changes colours… W-With the water and heat.”

Spamton opened his mouth as if to respond but he just kept making a fool out of himself every time he did so he closed it, cursing his grabby hands that couldn’t keep to themselves.

Ashamed, he submerged himself up to his nose, releasing the rubber Swatchling which bounced to the surface of the water, its blue colour slowly fading to green and making its way to yellow.

Swatch let out a chuckle in relief, as the puppet seemed almost transfixed by the strange toy “Yes, if you’re wondering, it was a birthday gift from the Swatchlings… It is strange and perhaps a bit too self-referential, but it is very endearing to me nonetheless...”

As he heard this, Spamton took a moment to glance at Swatch, their flustered smile as they spoke of the toy was leaving him a flustered mess “A-AH… [[H-Happy Birthday Dear Customer]] !! L-LATE!! LAT3 H4PPY BIRTHDAY!” He quickly spoke, turning back to the bottles and grabbing the nearest sponge and soap to distract himself, scrubbing the grime out of his joints. What was THAT all about?!

“O-Oh my… Are you alright, Spamton? If you’re getting anxious about the water, you can…”

The puppet shook his head, giving them a pleading look “I… I’M [Fine] ! I THINK I’M [Getting used to it] ...?”

"Oh! I see…" They offered a gentle smile "Do you still require my help?”

"D-DON'T LE4VE! I M-MEAN… [ nO ]! I MEAN, [You can do anything if you put your heart into it!] W-WAIT WHAT EVEN…!?" Spamton looked nervous as he wasn't even sure of what he was saying anymore. He felt like he could probably handle himself, but the idea of Swatch going away unnerved him terribly. It was as if their mere presence helped clear the static off of his mind, but at the same time, they still made him stupidly flustered all the time.

The bird simply tilted their head to the side, noticing how flustered the Addison had gotten. "I can stay if that's what you prefer." They offered a smile "Hm... At this rate, we may have to replace the water. It is getting rather murky already…"

Spamton appeared embarrassed and self-conscious over himself "Y-Y3S I'M A DIRTY [Trash goblin], IT'S BEEN [[Canonically established]] ALREADY. HAHA..."

"Oh, my apologies," They chuckled at his wording "I meant no offense with that…" Swatch rubbed their neck as Spamton kept scrubbing his body. Being a puppet ball joint-like monster meant he had to be twice as careful about staying clean, else the grime would get caught in between his joints and hinder his movement.

But of course, in his condition, Spamton really didn't have much of a choice in order to prevent that. It had already happened, and he took notice of how much easier it became for him to move his arms when he was done with his shoulders and elbows. Were his movements always this strained?

Swatch simply watched this process, seemingly lost in thought. When Spamton reached to scrub his legs, Swatch directed their gaze to the Addison's hair instead. He hadn't gotten it wet yet aside from the accident earlier, and Swatch was trying to contain their urge to wash it.

Spamton's hair looked matted and as if it was stuck in place. It seemed like it had been styled once at some point, but been neglected ever since. Or like any attempts to maintain it had been rushed and sloppy.

Snapping out of their daze, Swatch took notice of the red cheeks on the puppet becoming faded as he washed his face, and strangely enough, a greyish black liquid was dripping from his hairline when he did this.

"W-What is that…?" Swatch asked alarmed, the concern was visible in their expression and Spamton turned to give them an uncertain look.


"No, it's just that…" they reached with their hand towards the Addison's forehead, their thumb catching the dark liquid so it wouldn't fall on his eyes "Your head is… dripping …?"

Spamton froze as he felt Swatch touch him, but as the bird looked at their thumb, he realized what they meant. "O-OH THAT MUST BE THE—" He caught himself, growing tense as he realized how weird it would be to explain. "...OIL."

" O-Oil ?!" Swatch looked even more confused by what this even meant.

"Y3S! HAH! IT'S JUST AS [Efficient] AS [[$4.99 Cheap Hair Dye]] ! D-DON'T TELL ANYONE, IT'S A [Trade secret] !" Spamton tried to dismiss it as it not being that big of a deal, but Swatch just stared at him, beak wide open as their expression looked flabbergasted.

" OIL?!? ON YOUR HAIR ?!" They repeated, standing up, circling the tub to reach for a small cabinet, looking to scavenge for something, eventually finding a showerhead with a short hose.

"HAH… I-IT'S ALL I COULD AFF0RD [At the time] ! SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO [Cut corners] WHEN IT COMES TO [[Business 101]] !” Spamton nervously excused himself but Swatch just wasn't having it. They looked upset, visibly distressed, which absolutely did not fit with their smooth butler persona. Maybe this was what they meant with Swatchlings being anxious monsters.

The bird took a deep breath, passing a winged hand through their ruffled head feathers to smooth them out, looking at the puppet who stared up at them with pleading eyes, holding on to the edge of the bathtub.

S-Swatch…? ” Spamton asked, visibly shaken, he lowered himself “Y-YOU’RE NOT [[Mad]], A-AR3 YOU ?”

“W-What…?” Swatch paused, their voice sounded distressed but still firm “No! I’m just not going to have you walking around with oil in your head. Please allow me to wash it.”

The Addison nervously passed his hands through his mullet, glancing at his palms, he watched the black stains simply wash away in the water. He was going to protest and ask to wash it himself, but Swatch seemed to know what they were doing. He looked back at the butler expectantly, and without another word, he nodded in agreement.

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