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The Dealmaker

Spamton x Swatch - 16k Words - 6/? Chapters - November 2021-January 2022
Status - Discontinued
Last Updated - January 12th 2022


Spamton wakes up and realizes that a part of his memories are missing and he did something really bad that he can't quite recall. However, he's now living in Castle Town and ready to embrace a fresh start when he meets a familiar face.

Spamton G. Spamton/Swatch, Other characters are mentioned but not worth getting tagged, Spamton has abandonment issues and a fat crush on Swatch, Swatch finds Spamton in the trash and takes him home is a good trope and I want in, Post NEO fight, tags will be added as i continue, Spamton can fit so much trauma in him, Anxiety Attacks, PTSD I guess??, Nudity, But like in a ball joint doll sort of way, Touch-Starved

The Dealmaker

Chapter 1

His vision had been dark for a while, from the static that often filled the corners of his eyes, to the continuous droning sound and garbage noise that was constantly playing in the back of his mind, Spamton had grown accustomed to having to yell his words out in order to be able to hear himself. As far as he could remember, this was how it had always been.

He hadn't noticed the silence at first, he thought he had finally perished and released himself from that prison of static and noise, but for the first time in a long while, Spamton's thoughts were quiet. The static, previously overbearing and demanding to make itself heard, felt small and easy to ignore, a welcoming silence relative to what he normally endured. It reminded him of the first time he started to hear it, previously dismissing it as a ringing in his ears from all the phone calls he used to make. All the deals and all the scams...

His head hurt, why was it all suddenly so hard to remember...? The last thing he recalled was... it was... The static got louder as he tried to remember.

A deal.

He struck a deal, didn't he? Who was it? A... A Lightner? He struggled as his memories were fuzzy all around..

Did he do it?

Did he reach [Heaven] ?

His nose scrunched as he took a whiff of the unpleasant smell, it was like a mix of old vines and... No...

He suddenly got up, immediately banging his head on something hard above him, something... metallic...? He gritted his teeth, sitting back down as he rubbed his head in pain. Some lousy excuse for Heaven this was!


Swatch was just getting ready to close the Color Café for the night when they heard the sudden loud noise coming from the outside. They had dismissed the Swatchlings by now and with no one else in the café with them, it wasn't like they could ask anyone if they too had heard that strange noise outside.

It sounded like it came from the garbage container next to the café, but with how loud it had been, they could never be too certain. They and all the inhabitants of Cyber City had just moved to Castle Town, and Swatch supposed.that the Maice did count as inhabitants. But even then, that.sounded too loud to be a simple Maus.

They glanced out the window to see if there was anyone outside, but with how late and dark it was, they couldn't really spot anyone. They weren't as scared of vermin as the other Swatchlings were, but dealing with them was hardly a pleasant experience and they sighed.

All of that. All of that, and he was still living in a goddamn garbage can. Did he ever get to the basement? Spamtom felt like a part of his memories was missing, and his vision just seemed blurry. He felt like he was covered in ropes, strings, awful, terrible strings, restraining him, making him want to claw at his body. They surrounded his wrists and body tightly, making him feel like he was stuck in some sort of fishnet.

Spamton squirmed pointlessly but froze when he heard an unknown sound nearby. The sound of a door closing and keys locking up, followed by the sound of what seemed to be someone holding a plastic bag, heading in his direction. Spamton knew this routine by now, simply lay quiet, and once they were gone, he could scavenge the trash for something to fill his rumbling stomach. He frowned, realizing that he was back to having this life, and with his chance at being a [BIG SHOT] finally slipping from his fingers, it dawned on him that this was it. His one hope at redeeming himself, of justifying his existence in the world, all gone. He had nothing else to look forward to, just dedicate the rest of his life to his survival instinct.

Sitting in the corner of the container, he waited patiently, looking up as the lid opened. This wasn't Cyber City, he thought, not recognizing what little he could see of the outside. But the trash didn't come, instead, Spamton saw a blurry dark figure with a white face peering down at him. He squinted, unable to make out their features, but still finding them so familiar, a familiar feeling that made his heart flutter.

Swatch simply squinted at the trash, looking for any suspicious Maice, but as they saw those short white legs scrambling to hide in the corner, they finally realized what they were looking at, their heart dropping in an instant "S-Spamton...?" They finally spoke, a look of disbelief as they stared at the dishevelled white Addison. He looked the same as he always did, only more and more ratty, and this time missing his knock-off two-toned glasses, revealing his small black beady eyes that just squinted back at him.

Swatch was at a loss for words.

They hadn't seen Spamton since the acid... incident... And after that, they only heard rumours of the salesman's whereabouts.

They supposed that the two of them were friends at some point, sort of, Spamton had once been a regular customer, visiting the café when he lived in the mansion just to try and workshop his flirting skills on Swatch against their will, sometimes not even ordering anything and just weirding out the customers. Although laughable and cringeworthy at times, Swatch never thought much of it, having long forgotten those memories until the sight of the small puppet brought it all back. They heard from the Lightner that the NEO robot had been destroyed and that Spamton had died alongside it. And yet, here he was. Swatch felt like they were staring at a ghost, and the ghost was staring back at them looking like he was the one who was getting whiplash.

Spamton's mind was ringing again, who was this and why did they seem so familiar? Why wouldn't his eyes just focus? He dug as deep into his mind as he could, but no words left his mouth. He figured his speaking quirk was still present but he wasn't about to try and test whether that was the case or not. "S... SW... SWATCH...?" he strained himself as the bird's name came out of his mouth, followed by warm memories of pleasant times in the past. Spamton recalled a past infatuation with the bird, the butler and bartender in the mansion. It had been so long since he last saw them. Why were they so quiet...? What face were they making...?

Swatch felt a shiver come to them as the small Addison spoke their name, if ghosts could talk, this is exactly what they expected them to sound like. "You're... alive..." Swatch continued, unsure whether to feel dread or relief.

Spamton felt himself tense up as his glitch was begging for him to say something embarrassing and terrible, his eyes had adjusted to the light, but he still had trouble reading the bird's expression. He wasn't being yelled at, and Swatch seemed more confused rather than angry. After the silence, the puppet just let out nervous laughter "HAHAHAHA I'M [Alive and kicking], HOT SHOT."

Spamton cringed at his own words, that last one was 100% on him, not the glitch, but it seemed that Swatch relaxed as he spoke, the familiarity seemingly relaxing them as they placed their hand on the bridge of their beak and took a deep breath. "...What are you doing here?"

Spamton paused, looking around himself "WHERE IS [[Click Here!]], EXACTLY?" He asked, a genuine look as his expression seemed to drop.

"Castle Town. In my café's... garbage container..." Swatch responded slowly, looking down at the puppet and noticing how he seemed to be covered in some dark strands of sorts, but it was hard to tell in the darkness "What are those things on your body...?"

This caused Spamton to freeze, could Swatch see the strings too? He squinted as he looked at his blurry arms, firm dark green strands of... something... had been wrapped around him. "Y... YOU CAN SEE THE [Silly Strings!] TOO?!"

Swatch raised an eyebrow when he said this, and finally put down the garbage, careful not to hit Spamton. "Firstly, would you care to leave the container? The smell is dreadful." Swatch firmly spoke, though it sounded more like an order rather than a request. They were usually kind and polite, but Spamton had been particularly good at pushing their buttons and demanding a firmer approach from them.

Spamton nodded and got up, however as he made his way to climb the edge of the container, his feet tripped on the strings around them and he fell flat on his face, landing on another garbage bag that only did so much to cushion his fall.

Swatch winced and shook their head, reaching down to scoop the Addison out of the trash, causing him to yelp in surprise.

"H-HEY, WH4T'S THE BIG ID3A?!" He glitched more as he felt powerless in the bird's strong grip.

"Are these... vines...?" Swatch ignored his complaints, putting their attention on Spamton's body, which was covered in the plants, they could swear they recognized them from the basement, but they didn't question it too much, simply untangling Spamton's legs, which had been almost meticulously tied together like he was a prisoner.

"Vines...?" Spamton murmured. That also sounded familiar, but everything after meeting the Lightner had become such a blur in his mind. His tense body relaxed as Swatch pulled the vines away, releasing his legs from their grip. Having someone holding him like that was a strangely comforting feeling, but before his tired eyes could even begin to let him doze off, Swatch put him on the ground.

The puppet looked down as his legs were finally free and he glanced back up at Swatch whose expression appeared strained as if avoiding to look directly at him. "You did not answer my question... Why are you here?"

Spamton just gave him a pleading look "I JUST WOKE UP HERE! WHAT HAPPENED TO [[Welcome to Cyber City!]] ?"

Swatch scratched the back of their neck, they supposed that Spamton had a lot to catch up with since he had supposedly died. He wasn't always all there, Swatch thought, but he seemed even more particularly disoriented this time "Cyber City is... gone..." Swatch spoke, a hint of sadness in their voice as the puppet blinked in silence "The Lightners closed the Queen's Fountain and everyone has been moved here... To Castle Town."

They looked around and Spamton followed their gaze, contrary to the constant loud sounds on the Cyber City, Castle Town was far more quiet, comforting even. During night time, most of the lights were off, and Spamton seemed at a loss for words.

"UH." Spamton simply spoke, placing his hand on the garbage container and patting it with an awkward laughter "WELL, I SUPPOSE THAT WOULD MAKE US [Your friendly neighbourhood] SPAMTON! HAHAHAHA !" He laughed but Swatch seemed distressed with this.

"E-Excuse me, you are NOT staying in my garbage container!"

"WHY N0T?! WHERE ELSE WILL I [Free Real Estate]?!"

"P-Pardon...?" Swatch seemed confused, causing Spamton to flush in embarrassment, which often caused his glitch to worsen as he struggled to make his words make sense.

"WH-WHERE 4M I GOING TO GET [Home Sweet H0me]...¿"

"I..." Swatch paused for a moment "Spamton, every inhabitant has been assigned their own home. I can take you to Prince Ralsei and he will surely find a vacant home for you to stay in."

"NO!" Spamtom suddenly snapped and froze when he heard this, that name, that was the name of the Darkner that accompanied the Lightners. The idea of seeing any of them again left him with a feeling of dread. He wasn't sure why, but it just made him terrified down to his joints.

"W-What do you mean, "no"...?" Swatch seemed confused, starting to wonder if Spamton would just wake up the entire town with his loud voice and commercial breaks at this point.

"N-NOT LIK3 THIS ! I AM NOT PREPARED TO DO A [[Comeback Specil]]!" He excused himself, walking backwards and turning around to try and hop back into the garbage container before he felt Swatch's strong feathered hands grabbing his small torso like he was just a doll or some sort of small animal.

"Absolutely not." Swatch spoke firmly "I respect your decision not to meet with the prince, but you are not going to stay in this garbage container."

Spamton wanted to squirm out of Swatch's grasp but he simply blinked and looked around "WELL, WHERE ARE THE NEAREST [[Hottest Trash-cans in your area]]?" He placed his small hands on Swatch's wrists, who was trying really hard to keep their composure as Spamton gave him an anxious award-losing smile. "HELP YOUR [old pal] SPAMTON OUT AND YOU WON'T HEAR ANOTHER PEEP OUTTA ME ! TAKE THE DEAL, SWATCH!"

Deal... Swatch pondered for a bit, coming to a realization "You're an Addison, right?"


"R-Right. The other Addisons should have an extra room in their communal home... Perhaps you could—" Swatch spoke more to themselves than anyone else, snapping out of it when Spamton squirmed out of their grasp and swiftly fell on the ground, clearly hurting himself.

"Oof. I CHANGED MY MIND! HA... H4HA! [Thank you for your customer service], HANDS0ME [[Hot singles]]." He got back up on his feet, wiping his suit and almost stumbling as he tried to take a step, a strained smile was visible on his face "I'LL JUST [Take a ride around town] AND SEE WHAT I C4N FIND!"

Swatch watched him in awe as the small puppet's glitch seemed to worsen when they mentioned the Addisons "W-Wait! Where are you going? You are not seriously going to look for another garbage container to turn into a home, are you?"

"Heh... Why do you care all of a sudden...?" Spamton muttered almost bitterly and turned back "BETWEEN MEETING WITH THE [little sponges] WHO PUT ME HERE, AND THOSE [Friend Request Declined] I U-USED TO C4LL [Family-friendly], I DON'T SEE A [Great Deals!] TO BE MADE." He let out a bitter glitched laugh again.

"W-Well, you can stay at my place for the time being?" Swatch spoke without thinking, only realizing what they had said when the puppet looked back at them, eyes still squinting. On top of his glitch, from his uncertain steps and arms stretched out to balance himself, Swatch got the feeling that the puppet was as blind as a bat without his glasses.

Swatch quietly cursed their instinct to help out their patrons even when they actively did not want them to, and they felt that they would likely be better off without involving themselves in whatever Spamton was going through. But they couldn't help but admit that they had a soft spot for the Addison, whose near-constant visits to the café and incessant talking were a welcome change of pace that they regarded fondly from his visits in the past.

The puppet seemed quiet for a while, looking down as if trying to process the offer. It certainly beat him trying to go house hunting in the middle of the night on people's garbage cans. And Swatch, they... they didn't hate him, not yet at least, even if it would be a bit awkward with how much Spamton tried to make moves on them in the past without any success, either by Swatch actively ignoring them or the flirting going way over their head. But he liked them, Spamton thought as he turned around and stepped towards him, extending a hand with a bright smile. How bad could it be?


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